1. My family coat of arms ties at the back....is that normal? 2. My family tree is a few branches short! All help appreciated. 3. My ancestors must be in a witness protection program! 4. Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall! 5. My hobby is genealogy, I raise dust bunnies as pets. 6. How can one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE?? 7. I looked into my family tree and found out I was a sap. 8. I'm not stuck, I'm ancestrally challenged. 9. I'm searching for myself; Have you seen me? 10. If only people came with pull down menus and on-line help. 11. Isn't genealogy fun? The answer to one problem leads to two more! 12. It's 2000... Do you know where your-Gr-Gr-Grandparents are? 13. A family reunion is an effective form of birth control 14. A family tree can wither if nobody tends its roots. 15. A new cousin a day keeps the boredom away. 16. After 30 days, unclaimed ancestors will be adopted. 17. Am I the only person up my tree... sure seems like it. 18. Any family tree produces some lemons, some nuts and a few bad apples. 19. Can a first cousin once removed..RETURN? 20. FLOOR: The place for storing your priceless genealogy records. 21. Gene-Allergy: It's a contagious disease, but I love it. 22. Genealogists are time unravelers. 23. Genealogy is like playing hide and seek: They hide...I seek! 24. Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people. 25. Genealogists never die, they just lose their census. 26. A pack rat is hard to live with, but makes a fine ancestor. 27. I want to find ALL of them! So far I only have a few thousand. 28. I Should have asked them BEFORE they died! 29. I think my ancestors had several "Bad heir" days. 30. I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the JUNEflower. 31. Only a Genealogist regards a step backwards as progress. 32. Share your knowledge; it is a way to achieve immortality. 33. Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools! 34. It's an unusual family that hath neither a lady of the evening or thief. 35. Many a family tree needs pruning. 36. Shh! Be very, very quiet.... I'm hunting forebears. 37. Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors! 38. That's strange: half my ancestors are WOMEN! 39. I'm not sick, I've just got fading genes. 40. Genealogists live in the past lane. 41. Cousins marrying cousins: Very tangled roots! 42. Cousins marrying cousins: A non branching family tree. 43. All right! Everybody out of the gene pool! 44. Always willing to share my ignorance... 45. Documentation...The hard part.. 46. Genealogy: Chasing your own tale! 47. Genealogy...will I ever find time to mow the lawn again? 48. All the really important information is on that missing page 49. I researched my family tree...and apparently I don't exist! 50. SO MANY ANCESTORS. SO LITTLE TIME! 51. My family tree needs more wood and less sap. 52. My family tree must be a pecan because it is full of nuts. 53. Old genealogist never die, they just lose their census. 54. Genealogy is not fatal, but it is a grave disease. 55. Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools! 56. "Sure, a real job would be nice, but it would interfere with my genealogy!" 57. So many dead men! So little time! 58. Who's in charge of washing the Family Group Sheets? 59. Why waste your money looking up your family tree, just go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.